‘T’ Kloss II Dec/23/2000

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ODE TO 'T' KLOSS II

It was last year, I think, right about this time,
That I had an unusual encounter of the most different kind.
The events of that night really did, 'Blow My Mind'!
I vowed to "Return Next Year", hoping for what I might find.

It was actually the Pups and me that made this discovery,
And I must admit that it's taken a whole year for our recovery!
I didn't want to leave the Pups out, cause they were excited,
About fulfilling my vow, as if it were requited.

So, we got in the T, and the Pups appeared delighted,
Then, off on a special search, the T was 'piloted'!
Headin' for the self same digs and crusin' the same streets,
Lookin' for the arrival of Sam T. Kloss and his T, with the big rear meats!

We took this little trip for many nights it seems,
No success made me wonder if last year's event was only in my dreams.
Night after night, the Pups and me kept drivin' and drivin',
We really wanted to catch Sam T. Kloss, when he was arrivin'.

Time was getting short, with the twenty-fifth approaching,
Not seeing Sam T. Kloss was a thought now encroaching.
Every night, we had looked both close and far,
Seeing NOTHING, remotely, resembling his car!

Night before last was the last trip we took,
After that, there was no more time, for which to look.
I don't mind tellin' you, the Pups and me were more than shook,
It appeared that, concerning Sam T. Kloss, we'd have to close the book.

This being our last night, we had searched long and hard,
Coming up once again, WITHOUT the 'winning card'.
While sitting at a stoplight, I fell partially asleep,
With the conscious part of me wanting to weep.

Then suddenly, Ginger let out a very loud bark,
Alarmed, I sat up, fearing trouble coming out of the dark.
Ginger's barks got louder, piercing the quiet night air,
As Blanca and me looked to see what might be there.

Then Blanca joined Ginger, now there were barks galore,
I had to say, "Girls, stop it! Don't bark anymore!"
The silence revealed a reason for the hubbub, at its' very core,
Their ears had picked up in the distance, a memorable roar.

Now, my ears are good, cause, a musician I be,
But, in hearing finite sounds, my Pups have always 'bested' me.
When I first heard the sound I knew it wasn't a 'Jimmy',
I started to get suspicious that it might be the T. Kloss Hemi!

Then two very bright headlights began to pierce the northern sky,
With continually changing colors, making a glow, familiar to my eye.
I turned to the Pups and said, "Girls, I think you've found T. Kloss,
Maybe all the time we've spent in search, won't be a loss".

My hopes for our meeting this year had grown very dim,
Til' the lights came more near, then I knew it was him!
Anxiety covered the Pups and me upon viewing the Kloss T descent,
It was only twelve feet above, as over our top it went!

The underneath glimpse I got was really quite scary,
There was something behind the T that it appeared to carry.
The light turned green, we took a left turn for a block,
And then another left which led to a familiar parking lot.

Yes, he had landed at the very same place,
The T even occupied the exact same space.
Entering the lot we saw the appendage that had lengthened the T,
It was a tandem axle trailer that was as big as big could be.

The color of the trailer matched his T in every manner,
They could not have shown more brilliant had they been a NEON BANNER!
We drove up beside it and I yelled, "Hey, is that you Sam T Kloss?"
He replied, "Remember last year? I said call me 'T', is your memory at a loss?
" Momentarily embarrassed I said, "Concerning my memory, that would be correct."
"It seems that I have a case of CRS, so to that statement, I could not object!"

Corrected, I continued, "T, what's with the trailer? I don't think I saw it last year."
He returned, "Your memory's not done, cause' I didn't tow this trailer last year!"
I said, "This is such a change, I think there must be much more to the story?"
"And if I'm correct, I hope that the answer to the question is not 'gorey'."
He replied, "Well, I wouldn't call it 'gorey' but I'll guarantee that things got heated,
When I found how the T and ME were scheduled to be treated!"

"Some 'Bean-Counter', with nothing to do, sat down behind his fossilized desk,
Then started to ponder, on the T and ME, deciding what might be best!"
"So, I'll tell you what happened when they hit me right 'Outa-The-Blue',
With this 'Bean Counter's' idea, and I promise that it's all true!"

"The powers that be wanted me to start drivin' an EXCURSION,
I immediately questioned, Who came up with that little perversion?"
"They indicated that, since I was their oldest member,
I should know how cold it gets in December,
And that they were concerned about my health, drivin' an open car,
That the chance of catchin' Pneumonia would be near, not far!"
"So, the EXCURSION was to arrive on the twenty-fourth, via HUGE sled,
My temperature gauge must have read BOIL-OVER, when in reply I said:"
"What?" "You want me to give up my T?"
"The day I do that, you can put a 'STRAIGHT JACKET' on me!!!"
He continued, "There must have been a lot of meaning in those words I spoke,
Relaying my feelings more clearly than I could hope."
"For they quickly threw their suggestion into a galvanized can,
That's related to that 'Little Outhouse' that used to be on the back of one's land!"
"So, I thought I'd try to calm their fears with an idea of my own,
I got the idea from your 'Hemi T', when a picture of him was shown!"
"From now on, at this time of year, I'll have my own B.A.T. in tow."
"By the way," he said, "B.A.T. means BIG A-, Uh, well, you already know."

"Gotta' ask you a 'loaded question', I just wanta' see,
What kind of answer you'll be givin' back to me!
I said, "Sure, I'll be glad to answer any question Sam,
Just make the question as clear as you can."

He said, "Remember last year, when before leaving, I was sittin' in my T?"
"And I told you something, cause you had been listenin' to me?"
"Did your 'Buckethead' friends take heed of the three?"
"I mean, those three gifts of Faith, Hope and Charity"?

I replied, "Before I answer, you need to know; we've changed some things."
"We have our own BBS, new officers and problems that a change often brings!"
"When we made these changes, things got pretty rough."
He interrupted saying, "I already know about all that stuff!"

I said, "Great! Then you probably know what I'm gonna say,
The NTBA has never left, it's getting stronger and better, day by day!"
"We number over four hundred now, adding members here and there,
There's even one member now, that we all know as 'Bear!"

Continuing I said, "Hey, you said you already knew about all that stuff!"
"You've been lookin' at our board again; to me that's plain enough."
"You must already know how we're doin' with Faith, Hope and Charity;
The NTBA is up, it's runnin' strong, and with NO despairety."
"The comradery between our members, you have witnessed I would bet,
Which includes everybody from current drivers to those not having a T yet."

He said, "You caught me son, so I might as well start confessing,
For me, watching the NTBA board has been a REAL NICE blessing!"
"When Nu-T put up that heading called, 'New Nuttin But Pics',
There were so many T's, I thought my eyes were surely playin' tricks."

"Yes, I've been watchin' your board, more and more,
It appears that your members are great, though to the core."
"Post after post, the blend is that of a many flavored soup,
It's proved to me that the NTBA is a very unique group!"

"The many exchanges between Fat Pat and Fred,
Have been some of the funniest that I've ever read."
"Then, add BT to the member mix with his favorite color dream,
Saying", "Our 'Junkyard Wars' team will have jumpsuits that are green!"

"Now Smoke Eater has heated things up with several pics of his T,
Likewise TCC with a 'knocked out dash' and Purple that 'grabbed' at me."
"There's been fresh paint and soon new threads for JR's 'Gotta C',
Texas T's poundin' the streets straight as a string, runnin' true and free!"

"And what about APT's polished and shiny unbelievable piece,
Up and runnin' at Hannibal, will wonders never cease?"
"And speakin' of CEEC, how about that incredible steerin' wheel he made?"
"Will it soon adorn his Depot Hack when he joins our motorized cavalcade?"

"Frank keeps makin' steady progress by continually pluggin' away,
He'll be tracing the streets of Bennington during a 'not to distant' day!"
"Lots of your members T's are up and running, that I already know,
One that I've not seen post in a while, is known as 2(too) 2(too) Slow."

"Looks like Preacher 1 and William are part of your 'Spiritual' Team',
Plus, many more 'Bucketheads' unnamed, are included it would seem."
"That's why I like this club so much, each and every member,
If I tried to name them all, we'd be here til' next December."

"As for this season, I'll cover the same states as last year,
But, after that, my route will be different, it does appear."
"I've made a suggestion that ONLY I would cover the NTBA,
And there's a very good chance that I'm going to get my way."

"I'll cover a larger area, but there will be a lot fewer stops to make,
And I'll be covering the NTBA, it couldn't be better, for Heavens Sake!"
"I'll be going 'down under', to call on Aussie T,
And then to Japan, where Sota I hope to see."
"I'll cover Canada and Alaska and the entire U.S.A.,
A nice chance to Wind-Out-the-Hemi, that's what I say!"
"From Fitzee to Steve C., that would be top to bottom,
I'll even stop in Arkansas to make a drop for 'Rotten'."

"But, now it's back to the present, I've got to be movin' on,
I want my Hemi to massage my ears with that wonderful travelin' song."
"Each cylinder 'thumpin' with the others, makin' their individual sounds,
Propelling my T and me through our joyous yearly rounds!"

I said, "Aw T, do you have to leave now, when are you actually due?"
"I've picked a dynamite place and was gonna treat you to some Bar-B-Que."
He said, "I'll tell you what, next year I'll arrive with more time to spare,
And you and me will go over to the Bar-B-Que place and eat till it is bare."

"Why don't you round up some more Bucketheads and invite them to the place,
That will give me a real good chance to meet them face to face,
Which is something I never get to do because I'm always in such a race,
I would hope that next years schedule would allow for meetings in every case!"

And then he hit the starter, followed by the familiar exhaust crack,
And as his T moved slowly forward, turning as if on a track,
He yelled out, "Remember those three words of Faith, Hope and Charity?"
Add two more, being Grace and Mercy, for chasing away disparity!"

By then he was across the street on the same freeway ramp,
And then, once again, he suddenly poured on the AMPS!
The Hemi roared and the T, Trailer Combo straightened out the curve,
Immediately into an eighty-degree ascent to the north, now that took nerve!"

I didn't get as sad this time cause I think I'll see him again next year,
Besides, I still get one heck of a kick outa' hearin' him wind it out, gear after gear!
I forgot to ask T if he'd be coming back to the very same place,
But, the Pups and me figure that he'll be landing in the exact same space!

So, I guess the Pups and me will put out an unusual invitation right now,
Any Bucketheads, who, through next year's Texas, December air, want to plow,
I'll pick a date in next December, and set up a possible rendezvous,
So that Sam T Kloss' next arrival, might be witnessed by you!

Herman T. Quackenbush 12/23/2000
(aka T-Pilot with Pups)

P.S. Same as last year the Pups and me didn't get a card sent out to everybody,
so we want to wish you all God's Bounty, especially what he sends at this time of year.
We would wish that the true meaning of Christmas might cover you totally.
John 1:1-2, 14

1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2. The same was in the beginning with God.

14. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory,
the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

Folks, that to me, gives full reason for celebrating Christ's birth.
May God Bless all of you Bucketheads, cause you're a real special group.

John Eplen