‘T’ Kloss Dec/24/1999

[WebMistress]

ODE TO 'T' KLOSS

One fair night during this present Christmas Season,
Me and the Pups were cruising in the T, for no particular reason.
While stopped at a light we became concerned when our eyes caught sight,
Of a 'knocked out T' and its' owner, motionless and quiet.

When the light changed to green, away we quickly rode,
Taking a sharp right turn into the parking lot where the T abode.
As I pulled up beside I said, "Need any help?"
"No, just tweakin' the engine!" he replied in a yelp.

And when I looked down at the engine, what did I see?
A great big mass which was very appealing to me!
It was a Hemi which, he assured me, had cubes to spare,
With two double pumpers atop an 8-71 for stuffing fuel and air.

Dual magnetos for creating spark to the highest degree
And also, some small tubing for Nitrous, I think I did see!
Up front a polished brass radiator with a pair of brass headlights to match,
With chrome, polished aluminum and stainless amounting to a very large batch.

I stepped back to look at what the overall color would be,
And immediately thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
At first I saw red which quickly faded to green and then to yellow,
Continually changing from color to color, this left me a very confused fellow!

I kept wondering, "How does this paint thing work?"
But, I didn't want to press the issue and be a jerk.
Nevertheless, you couldn't have a paint job that would be any 'hotter',
I'd like to find out what his painter drinks, and put some in my water!

On each side of the back there was a Great Big Meat,
I assumed for good traction and angles that are steep.
Up front was a medium pair with discs all the way around,
And the polished billet wheel design was really quite profound.

Upon observing the color I could definitely see that it was a T,
But, there was something else starting to eat at me.
The overall image kind of reminded me of a sleigh,
Then I said, " This can't be, there's just no way!"

I shook and shook to try and clear my head,
It must have worked, cause I suddenly saw no sled.
By that time the driver had finally finished his tweakin',
And turned toward me indicating it was time for speakin'.

I told him my name, he replied, "You can call me T!"
I exclaimed, "That's part of my hotrod handle, the first letter it would be!"
He said, "That's no nickname for me sonny, it's part of my real name!"
"Although people mistake me for others, T and Me are one and the same!"

I'd never seen him and his T so I asked, "Are you new in town?"
As he answered, "Yes and no," he registered a slight frown.
He said, "I've been here before, but at present I can't stay."
"I've got to make a few more tests and then be on my way!"

"Need to know air density, humidity and temperature norms,
Plus wind speeds, pollen count and tendency of storms."
Then I asked, "What are you, some kind of souped up weatherman?"
"No!" he said, "This info is needed in preparing a future flight plan."

"Cause, in the very near future, I'll be coming back this way,
And I'll be driving my trusty HORSE POWERED sleigh!"
He smiled and winked while patting the tire at left rear,
Then suddenly my confused picture started to get much more clear.

I said, "Am I understanding what I think you are saying?"
"You'll be coming back in your T soon, but you'll be sleighing?"
"He started laughing so hard, I thought he was baying,
While saying, "I think this story, upon your mind is weighing!"

"I've seen the hot rod board, upon which you 'Bucketheads' post,
And to BC, who makes it possible, I offer a sincere toast."
"When you stop and ponder, BC indeed is the perfect NTBA Host,
Since he's given your club a home, from which you now post, coast to coast!"

He continued, "Now, I'm also in a club, but it's more like a band,
Like you, we are also located in all parts of this land."
"But, unlike your members, we are not always near,
For it is only one night annually that we normally appear."

"Don't get us confused with that one fellow who is well known,
Cause we don't, in any way, share the same home."
I said, "You mean the guy with Rudolph and Sleigh; he's not in the hunt?"
He replied, "Don't you get it yet son? He's always been just a front!"


"He's been advertised and promoted, in order to take the heat off of us,
So that we might go about doing our job, without any fuss."
"For one man couldn't do what we all do in one night,
And if he tried it, he would never survive the flight!"

"Each one of our members is responsible for a certain territory,
And when he finishes his tour, it makes for a very happy story."
"So, each one must know his route beyond that of extremely well,
Lest he end up embedded in an uncharted steeple bell!"


"My brother is a member, just like me,
Except his T is powered by a Chevy 383."
"My brother and I have quite a territory at hand,
It includes the very State in which we now stand."

"With Oklahoma and Arkansas included for sure,
It all adds up, that night, to be quite a 'little' tour."
"You wouldn't believe how quickly we must travel,
Continually watching out for any loose gravel."

"We also must watch for clothes lines, power lines and tall standing towers,
I can't tell you about all our concerns cause it would take several hours."
"We're definitely on the front line and there's plenty of danger out there,
But, because our cargo is so important, we're determined to deliver with care."

"There are some things about this job that we truly regret,
One being that there's no time to stop and talk, on that you can bet."
"For instance, one of my drops in Arkansas will be at the home of BC,
But, I'll be moving so fast, there'll be no time to visit, don't you see?"

He continued with, "My brother will be covering Oklahoma on this year's draw,
And while looking at his list, one particular name I saw."
"It was McLoud, America, the name struck me funny,
Reading further, I exclaimed, Oh Great! He's got a special drop for Sunny!"

"Our members up North have quite different power plants for their T's,
Cause they have to deal with a lot of sub-zero degrees."
"Most of these guys are runnin' V-12 Allison's and Merlin's up there,
With a Turbo on each bank-tucked in, out of the air."

"Even if you see them, you won't believe how fast they can run,
To drive one of their T's would be the definition for fun."
"And if you should ever catch one at a light, when you're out on a roam,
If it starts glowing red, be real smart and leave it alone!"

Continuing, "Yesterday I was talking to Charlie, who drives over Wisconsin,
We were talking while inspecting his T where he had added two sponsons,"
"He said", "You know, with the variety of drops each year, I never get in a Rut,
This year, you ought to see my huge drop for a guy named Lugnut!"
"That Greenleaf weather is usually very difficult to beat,
But, I'm gonna make sure that Lugnut gets all of his treats!"
"He turned to me and asked, How about you? Are your flight plans done?"
"I said yeah, but you know how our Lists' go, on and on, like the beat of a drum."

T turned to me and said, "I've got a lot of local drops, but they won't be tough,
Got a pretty big one for Mark in Bedford, I think it's mostly technical stuff."
"And some things for Nu-T in Arlington and in Lucas, some for Jason,
Yep, it looks like this year, as usual, I'll be doin' a lot of racin'."

He turned to his T and said, "Sorry son, but I gotta be on my way,
Cause, in front of me, a lot of 'pre-flight chores' do lay."
"I gotta go home and start mixin' a whole lot of fuel,
For it's gonna take an extra hundred gallons to make it through this Yule!"

He got into his T, sat down and leaned back,
I figured any moment would bring a BIG exhaust crack.
But, he hesitated in starting the engine, and began to look like he was 'glistening',
He looked at me he said, "I'll tell you some things, cause you've been listening."

"Most people think we only do a tangible thing,
But, that's NOT true concerning ALL the things we bring!"
"For all of us have three special gifts that we annually bear,
Which are left for each person with a lot of loving care."

"But, there is one problem that has been distressing all of our band,
And now comes another year, with the problem still at hand!"
"All the gifts are opened each year, including the annual three that we bring,
But, the importance of these three, to many people, does not mean a thing."

"The three of which I speak are; Faith, Hope and Charity,
Which, when unwrapped, are treated with jocularity!"
"The Love in Charity alone is always enough to sustain,
One's life through any and all types of rough terrain."

This is one more thing that he said to me,
"Tell your 'Buckethead' Friends to take heed of these three!'
"Tell them how much more happy they will be,
This would be the most beautiful scene I could ever see!"

With that came the long awaited exhaust crack,
Which physically and immediately moved me back.
I yelled out, "Hey, what's your full name 'Boss'?"
He yelled back, "It's Sam T Kloss!"

His T started slowly moving forward to the street,
As I watched, the back end looked really neat.
He crossed over to a freeway entry ramp,
And suddenly he poured on the AMPS!
When he straightened out a curve, I knew he was airborne,
And all at once I noticed that my heart was forlorn.

I listened as he wound it out in gear after gear,
He was still shifting when I could no longer hear.
I was still sad, cause I didn't want him to leave,
But, in my mind, his words began to achieve.

I remembered his words of Faith, Hope and Charity,
And the first person I should start with? That would be me!
So, I'll try and honor these thoughts as I hope Bucketheads will also do,
He left us all a challenge and then away he flew.

As for me, next year about this same time,
Me and the Pups will be of the same mind.
We'll be around the self same digs and crusin' the same streets,
Lookin' for the arrival of Sam T Kloss and his T with the big rear meats!

Herman T. Quackenbush 12/24/99
(aka T-Pilot with Pups)

P.S. Since me and the pups can't scan in a Christmas card yet (still trying to learn how); we thought you might enjoy hearing about our recent holiday encounter. It was an amazing night. I left a lot stuff out-bet you're all glad about that! Sorry about that, tried to make it as short as possible.

Like many have already posted, Blanca, Ginger and me have met some of the greatest people (and Pups) on this BBS, at Branson and then locally after Branson. As I've said before, there are still many names to put with faces. Thanks BC for giving everyone the chance to meet someone else. God Bless you and your family.

One last note.

As you all know this is a special time during each year. Whether Christ was born on Dec. 25th or not, that isn't the point. The important point is that this is a time set aside to Honor His Birth.

He was born a man just like us, he brought Gods' word to us and then he gave his life for us. Can we do less than give our lives to him?

I'll leave you with the words that ended a sermon of my Pastor. Fred Bratton said, "When you go home tonight, get down on your knees and thank the Lord for your blessings and then Tell him how much you love him! Cause I don't think he's heard that very much lately!"

From John, Blanca and Ginger, may the Lord Bless You and Keep You and continually cover You with His Bounty through this season and the new year.

John Eplen